i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
