I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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