Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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