Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
