You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
