Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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