Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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