If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
