my vag is so smooth its legendary
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
