Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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