Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
