With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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