i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
