Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
