OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
