Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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