just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
