So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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