we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
