just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
