Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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