I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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