I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
