yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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