dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
