you're like a bully in the Christmas story
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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