I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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