dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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