Already got asked if we're dating
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
