Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
