He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
