I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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