no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
