Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
