11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Panties = found
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
