There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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