We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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