He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I just found a bag of teeth...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
