: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
