he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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