No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
