Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Im part way to drunk.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
