yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
