i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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