I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
