Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
