I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
