I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
