Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
