Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
